My name is Nia, and I am registered blind. I have useable vision in my left eye, and I am completely blind in my right eye. If you ask any parent, they will say it is magical but definitely comes with its trials and tribulations. Being a vision impaired parent certainly comes with its challenges but as with most things, we find ways around everything – it may take us longer, but we do it.
Our twin boys were born two months prematurely, so our first obstacle was navigating the world of neonatal with the various tubes, low-lighting levels and medication/vitamins.
Once we got the boys home there were many sleepless nights, poop explosions and countless hours fastening the millions of poppers on baby grows (top tip: buy zip up baby grows). We soon got into a rhythm and the little adaptations made a massive difference such as: using bumpons on the Milk Prep Machine so it was accessible, using more wipes than we most probably needed to just to ensure that bottoms were clean and using tech such as Seeing AI https://www.seeingai.com/ to read labels.
Don’t get me wrong once I forgot to label the ice pack with pureed food in which made our drink taste very odd but at least we got one of our five a day.
I found going to baby and toddler group a daunting prospect not just because of my vision impairment but because I had twins, I was outnumbered. I used to feel very frustrated and feel a lot of guilt when I couldn’t get to some of the groups as I couldn’t get on public transport with our pram and I couldn’t take them on my own in a taxi but for those I could get to I would walk 40 minutes each way to go (thank goodness for the google maps app). When the boys became more mobile, I found my anxiety definitely increased but for all groups I told the group leader and asked her to keep an eye on them for me. It can sometimes be hard asking for help, but I must admit since I have become a parent I have certainly become less stubborn and have found that knowing that someone else was there to provide help if I needed it was reassuring and meant that I kept attending the sessions. Some Group Leaders were great, others weren’t so great and would often turn lights off for the sensory session before I reached my mat on the floor.
There are definitely some small hacks I have adopted to help me as a parent:
- The boys wear matching clothes often not just because it is very cute, but because it easy to spot both of them in a crowd of children.
- Their coats/jackets are always bright so that when they inevitably run ahead, I have a much better chance of spotting them.
- When they were smaller, we used reigns which meant that until they understood more about the risks and dangers of outdoors, we could keep them close to us.
- Before going out I always change their clothes just in case there are any huge bolognaise or chocolate stains on their clothes
- When weaning I often used the pouches of food as I could easily tell by feeling the pouch how much they have eaten
- Be extra safe: buy the extra baby gate. Buy the cupboard locks, buy the door close stoppers and put sponge around the corners of the tables. It may feel like overkill, but it means that you have done everything you can to make the home environment as safe as possible – you can’t predict every risk, but these simple measures certainly put my mind at ease.
As a parent with a disability I have felt a huge pressure to be perfect; for non-disabled parents if they make a mistake or if their child goes out with a stain on their clothes for example, this is put down to human error or one of those things but if a vision impaired parent goes out with a child with stains on their jumper it is put down to their sight.
We have to be perfect otherwise we open ourselves up for scrutiny and judgement and one thing I can say is that the parenting world is full of judgemental people ready to share their criticisms or uneducated opinions based on our disability. It can be soul destroying and the pressure has sometimes felt so overwhelming. If parents with a vision impairment do feel like this my tip is not to worry too much about those people, you know that your child is happy, healthy and loved.
Finally, I would say that there is no shame in asking for some help; whether it’s a lift to the local baby group or for someone to go with you to soft play to keep an eye on your little one(s); people are usually more than willing to help and I actually met fellow mum friends by doing this.
